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Tags: sam, Sam's Weird Afternoon, young children
Sam’ s Weird Afternoon…has been on the book shelves for almost 10 months…and hundreds and hundreds of books are now in the hands of many young children. I have taken Sam and his puppet friends with me to schools, daycare, libraries and more. For more information about me and my book check out the pages of this site.
Tags: battles, conflict, consistancy, limit setting, young children
How to make a request …NOT …become a conflict.
- be careful which ones you choose… Pick your battles as they say
- do not take on more conflicts/battles than you are ready for
- do not choose to take on a conflict if you do not have the time to see it through
- do not choose to take on a conflict when you are sick or tired (which I know could be most of the time)
- never exhibit anger in your voice or body language at these times…practice this if you must..in front of a mirror
- be consistent…if you said it is time to put on pajamas…do not waiver…if it is time to eat..sit child in chair if you must
- do not make a request more than once…if you normally ask 4-5 times…you have taught the child that he/she does not have to act until the 5th time…not the 1st…Time to change…only request one time and then act.
- if your request is not followed through…you must physically get up and direct child
- if in a conflict and the child does lots of crying and yelling…turn up the radio and ignore them ( the more you do the easier it will get)
- follow through…follow through…follow through on your requests….or if you can’t …DON’T MAKE THEM.
Many parents have told me their child just wears them down…but really…isn’t it we …who allow ourselves to get worn down ??? By not following some basic rules…what would be a teaching moment becomes a battle. What would most likely be nothing turns into a war. Do you realize that it is all in your very capable hands?
Teaching our children to have good coping skills goes a long way. Always keep in mind that we are a role model. Every minute of the day …and….if we are not on top of our game…either…we are teaching our children…or…they are teaching us. If we are able to successfully cope with our child’s behavior…know that we are teaching them good coping skills by example. Do you deal with your children… calmly or with anger?…do you follow through or do you get tired and give up?…do you have consistent expectations or are you all over the map?….do you make requests just once or a zillion times with no results?
Children learn limits only by testing them…it is how they learn.. It is our job as parents to give our children clearly defined limits. Imagine driving on roads with no signage or rules….think of the chaos there would be …and think of how anxious you would be…each time you got into your car to go to the store. Now…consider a child’s world …where there is no limit setting…no consistent direction provided.